Number 4

Just got back from chemo number 4. It will be my 2/3 point (although I won't consider it to be at that point until after the side effects have gone away sometime next week...). So hopefully on Wed/Thurs - I will be 2/3 of the way through!

I'm tired. I've noticed that I've been tired. I could blame it on the chemo, but I am going to blame it on the weather (although fall is my favorite type of weather...). Hmmm, maybe I'll blame it on the time change! I do know that lack of sunlight affects many. Could be all of the above.

I spoke to the nurse again about my neuropathy (the numbness in my hands and feet). She gave me a prescription for Amitriptyline. Once I got it, brought it home, and googled it - I find it is an antidepressant. Antidepressant??? I'm not depressed! I'm tired and bald, but certainly not depressed!! :) From what I found, it may 'mask' the symptoms. Blah. I don't want to mask anything (except extreme pain, thank you vicodin!). I can live with the numbness, it doesn't hurt, it's just annoying. And I could do without the extra side effects of this antidepressant - some of which are similar to ones I already have (hair loss, insomnia, etc.). Finally, I don't want to take more pills - its just more of a strain on my system and my liver.
So, I have an appointment with my regular oncologist on Wednesday late afternoon. (The following is being written mainly as a reminder to myself - because I have a memory now the capacity of a pea). I will ask him if the antidepressant can cure or prevent further neuropathy. If not - I won't take it. I also need to ask him about some kidney pain. I need another CA125, and I need to ask if the increase is something he deems significant or not. Most importantly, I need to find out if he is planning to sneak additional treatments in my plan. OH - and I need to change the date of my (hopefully) last treatment, because I think I am going to the Bears/Packers game that Sunday, and I want to be able to enjoy the game and Christmas, without being sick.
I have an appointment with the gyne/onc (the specialist) on Monday after Thanksgiving. That will be good - I need to run down this treatment with him, and hear what he suggests.

Thank you for bearing with me on that last part :) Chemo brain is a true symptom. Sometimes, I find myself sitting and staring at nothing - not knowing that time has passed, not thinking about anything. Its a very strange sensation for me. I have never had a good long term memory - but my short term for things I want to remember, was always excellent. Not anymore! Stupid brain (said in my Homer Simpson voice). ;)

Have a great weekend! I'm going to try to...