Sunday, July 18, 2010

and another anniversary!

I realized late Saturday, that it has been three years since my hysterectomy, and subsequent Ovarian Cancer diagnosis. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far when I was first diagnosed and two lines of chemotherapy (taxol/carboplatin and doxil) had no impact on my cancer. I imagined if I made it three years, I would be debilitated - as I see in other long term recurrent ovarian cancer survivors. But here I am - alive and thriving, and I wonder why. However, it is now an introspective 'why', and not a guilty one. The comments on my last post really helped me with the guilt. Especially Sams comment that my guilt will not do a thing for those other ovarian cancer patients-and she's right. It won't. What I can do for them and for myself, is to continue to live and enjoy my life, and every day that I have here on earth with my family and friends. That means no worrying about the future. The future will take care of itself.

I got to take my niece (my FH's oldest sisters' oldest daughter) skydiving! It was her request. She actually told me she wanted to do it when she was 16 (you have to be 18). She still remembered, and wanted to do it, and I was more than happy to join in on the fun. We couldn't sucker anyone else into going with us, but that was fine. I enjoyed this third skydive even more - it just keeps getting better! She really loved it too - so maybe a fourth dive is ahead!

Talk about not worrying about the future! ;) I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face the whole day! It was a great way to celebrate three years of survival.

Nothing else is new, except one sad note... I recently lost a facebook friend to ovarian cancer. You can see Sandhy's post about Diane on I could not have honored Diane better than Sandhy did, so I'm not even going to try.

You probably won't hear from me until October when my next scan is due. But who knows? ;)

Sunday, July 4, 2010


Recently, we celebrated my parents 45th wedding anniversary. My sister and I had a surprise 45th wedding anniversary party, that was a COMPLETE surprise to them! I still can't believe they had no clue :) My sister handled the bulk of the planning and work - and I handled the complaining :) I am not a party planner. My husband and I got married in Vegas, because the thought of planning a wedding completely terrified me. She did a fabulous job.

What was wonderful, was that everyone there seemed so happy to be there for my dad and mom. It really turned into a wonderful event. They have really been happily married for 45 years - it CAN be done! :) My favorite husband and I have been happily married for nearly 7 years, so we are on our way.

I had my CT scan and saw my doc Thursday and Friday. My news continues to be great! My CA125 remains at 14, and the scan shows no growth!! Holy cow. The calcified nodules are still there, but show no increase in size. The doctor said that the nodules occur when cancer "shrinks" and leaves behind calcium deposits. So there is no way to tell if cancer remains or not in those nodules - we just keep tracking them.

She is also incorporating a new biomarker blood test. Its the HE4 test, that is supposed to be more reliable than the CA125. Great - its another number for me to worry about!! :) I won't have that result for at least a week. I'm honestly not worried about that number yet, because of the scan and CA125 results.

The one bad thing is that I found out I was one of the very few women at my docs office that was getting "good" results that day. It makes me feel guilty and unworthy. Part of that comes from the fact that I have been extra tired, and I haven't accomplished anything lately. I work, and come home and sit on the couch :( I really need to remember to take my vitamins every day. I think the tiredness is from deficiencies, caused from past chemo treatments. What would those other women accomplish if they had my good news? I need to be re-motivated and re-energized.

Thank you all so much for your continued good energy and prayers! I have been off of treatment since January, and that is a miracle for someone with recurrent ovarian cancer!! Now, I need to get moving! :)