Those of you paying attention will remember that I had a gynecological oncologist appointment Monday. He is the one who 'optimally debulked' me (removed as much cancer as could possibly be removed), and probably the one I will ultimately thank for saving my life.
Anyway - I didn't write anything about it, because no new pertinent information was provided at the exam. He just said I'm healing fine, I look good (well - THANK you...), and he wants to see me after chemo is done.
That is the current state of things. I will know nothing more until all the chemo is done. Wait, wait, wait. Then wait some more. I am in a medical limbo. They will give me a CT scan after chemo - but not until at least one month after. They will monitor my CA 125 - but not until after chemo. I will continue on with my life - after chemo.
At least by going through chemo, I am actively fighting the disease (I hope). At least by finishing chemo, I will feel as though something has been completed. Of course, there are no guarantees. Can you tell I'm confused?
I think the hardest part for me is the fact that cancer will always be an unanswered question. Do still have it? Will it come back? Is the ovarian cancer hiding, waiting for me to feel safe, only to crop up in a cozy place like my lungs or liver?
The closer I get to finishing chemo, the less stable I feel.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm so glad to read you had a gyn-oncologist perform your surgery. This increases survival rates tremendously! Good news.
Yes, the thing about cancer... First, you can't believe you have it. Then, you can't believe it is gone. Strange, isn't it?
The worry gets better with time.
Post a Comment