Randy Pausch died today. He had terminal pancreatic cancer, and was quite popular on you tube, Oprah, and other forums because of his "Last Lecture" about achieving childhood dreams. It was recently published as a book too.
His death hit me kind of hard - maybe because I was a regular reader of his blog. I think all people with cancer have a certain bond or connection that others can't share. I appreciated the 'face' he put on cancer, as someone who was still a functioning and intelligent part of society. He also did not wallow in his circumstances, rather he wanted people to have fun every day. That was not something that just came about because of the cancer. He was like that before cancer.
One thing I hear over and over again - cancer fighters are "so brave" or "so strong". Bull. We are no braver or stronger than anyone else. Its just that our circumstances are different. We can be "determined". We can be "resilient". We can be "resourceful". But those words can apply to anyone else too. We are still human. We did not turn into some mythical, martyred saint just because we were diagnosed with cancer.
I guess I am just tired of the 'brave and strong' references. I have always been strong. Cancer did not make me strong- it has weakened me. I am weaker physically and I am weaker mentally. I am as brave as it takes to wake up every day and go through life. Everyone is that brave.
I just need to be 'brave and strong' enough to follow Randy Pausch's advice, and have fun everyday. We in the cancer community will miss you Randy.
I just need to be 'brave and strong' enough to follow Randy Pausch's advice, and have fun everyday. We in the cancer community will miss you Randy.
3 comments:
very well said. Thank you.
I'm thinking hard about your words....thank you for your honesty. Although I can't relate personally to the cancer, I can relate on another level.....it is kinda like growing up in a completely screwed up house and being told "it made you a stronger person" and the other cliche sentences.....you are RIGHT.....it is BULL, BULL, BULL.
I am guilty.......I have made the "strong, amazing" etc comments about you on your blog. But here is the truth......I am sorry that you have cancer. I think it is totally unfair and completely sucks. I'm never sure what to say, or how to put my feelings into the right words. I saw a quote that made a lot of sense....it said something like nobody promised you that life would be fair, but only that it would be worth it. I hope that with or without cancer......that you do what you need to do to make life worth it to you.
me
You are not guilty of anything. I definitely understand why people say it. Heck - I've even said it! I know that people have the best of intentions, and it is so hard to know what to say when someone has an illness.
Your analogy about growing up in a screwed up house is so 'spot on'.
I really like the quote. It came at a good time for me! Thank you for that.
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