Rising anxiety

My last weekly vaccine will be given on Thursday. Can you believe it is over already?? It seems as though this all just started. There will still be some follow up stuff, and a booster shot in six months. It will be strange though, not making the weekly trek for my shots.

I notice that I am increasingly anxious about the appointment on Thursday. Maybe it is because I will find out my CA125 number, and which direction it is now heading. Maybe it is because the vaccine portion is essentially over - and now we will see if it is effective. I guess I am just worried about what is next.

I notice my hands clenched into fists more often, tension in my neck and shoulders, and insomnia which always accompanies anxiety for me. I force myself to relax only to find my fists clenched again.

I am trying to distract myself by planning an Alaskan cruise for us in May or June. Still, the unknown medical future colors that too. Should I plan a relaxing trip or an adventurous one? I just don't know what my medical situation will be. I guess I will do a combination of both, and get all the cancellation insurance that I can! :)

Otherwise things are just fine. The increased daylight certainly helps my mood, and it is warming up out there. Work is going well, and I am still head over heels in love! Things could certainly be a whole lot worse :)

I'll update after my appointment on Thursday - have a great week!