and another anniversary!

I realized late Saturday, that it has been three years since my hysterectomy, and subsequent Ovarian Cancer diagnosis. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far when I was first diagnosed and two lines of chemotherapy (taxol/carboplatin and doxil) had no impact on my cancer. I imagined if I made it three years, I would be debilitated - as I see in other long term recurrent ovarian cancer survivors. But here I am - alive and thriving, and I wonder why. However, it is now an introspective 'why', and not a guilty one. The comments on my last post really helped me with the guilt. Especially Sams comment that my guilt will not do a thing for those other ovarian cancer patients-and she's right. It won't. What I can do for them and for myself, is to continue to live and enjoy my life, and every day that I have here on earth with my family and friends. That means no worrying about the future. The future will take care of itself.

I got to take my niece (my FH's oldest sisters' oldest daughter) skydiving! It was her request. She actually told me she wanted to do it when she was 16 (you have to be 18). She still remembered, and wanted to do it, and I was more than happy to join in on the fun. We couldn't sucker anyone else into going with us, but that was fine. I enjoyed this third skydive even more - it just keeps getting better! She really loved it too - so maybe a fourth dive is ahead!



Talk about not worrying about the future! ;) I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face the whole day! It was a great way to celebrate three years of survival.



Nothing else is new, except one sad note... I recently lost a facebook friend to ovarian cancer. You can see Sandhy's post about Diane on http://sandhysown.blogspot.com. I could not have honored Diane better than Sandhy did, so I'm not even going to try.

You probably won't hear from me until October when my next scan is due. But who knows? ;)

Celebrations

Recently, we celebrated my parents 45th wedding anniversary. My sister and I had a surprise 45th wedding anniversary party, that was a COMPLETE surprise to them! I still can't believe they had no clue :) My sister handled the bulk of the planning and work - and I handled the complaining :) I am not a party planner. My husband and I got married in Vegas, because the thought of planning a wedding completely terrified me. She did a fabulous job.

What was wonderful, was that everyone there seemed so happy to be there for my dad and mom. It really turned into a wonderful event. They have really been happily married for 45 years - it CAN be done! :) My favorite husband and I have been happily married for nearly 7 years, so we are on our way.

I had my CT scan and saw my doc Thursday and Friday. My news continues to be great! My CA125 remains at 14, and the scan shows no growth!! Holy cow. The calcified nodules are still there, but show no increase in size. The doctor said that the nodules occur when cancer "shrinks" and leaves behind calcium deposits. So there is no way to tell if cancer remains or not in those nodules - we just keep tracking them.

She is also incorporating a new biomarker blood test. Its the HE4 test, that is supposed to be more reliable than the CA125. Great - its another number for me to worry about!! :) I won't have that result for at least a week. I'm honestly not worried about that number yet, because of the scan and CA125 results.

The one bad thing is that I found out I was one of the very few women at my docs office that was getting "good" results that day. It makes me feel guilty and unworthy. Part of that comes from the fact that I have been extra tired, and I haven't accomplished anything lately. I work, and come home and sit on the couch :( I really need to remember to take my vitamins every day. I think the tiredness is from deficiencies, caused from past chemo treatments. What would those other women accomplish if they had my good news? I need to be re-motivated and re-energized.

Thank you all so much for your continued good energy and prayers! I have been off of treatment since January, and that is a miracle for someone with recurrent ovarian cancer!! Now, I need to get moving! :)

Enjoying Spring!

I could apologize again about what a bad blogger I am, but would you really accept it? :)

At least I come bearing good news! I had my CT scan and doc appointment last week. The scan *read* that nothing showed up. However my doctor pulled the scan up on her computer, and saw that there are still calcified nodules in my abdomen. Those nodules, in comparison to scans from November, have shrunk! From now on though, I will always have her pull the scans up and read them herself. I don't have much faith in the radiologists' reading, which is not good. At least the doctor is aware of it now, and maybe can say something to get that fixed.

She said that we don't need to do anything now. I need to have another scan in three months. Until then (and hopefully, beyond then) I'm still on break!! My CA125 is down to 14 (the lowest its ever been).

My favorite husband and I were actually in shock. I was certain that I would need to start treatment again (and I think he thought so too). I wasn't as stressed about starting treatment again, knowing she would likely put me back on Avastin, which was really helpful (in conjunction, I believe, with the OVax vaccine trial I was in). Knowing how subversive and sneaky ovarian cancer is, I didn't expect to get an extended break like this! My body is reveling in it, and with spring here, I feel renewed.

For those of you battling ovarian cancer - I wish for the same break for you. I can't explain how much hope this gives me. At a minimum, it is more time, and it gives my body time to recuperate from all the abuse its taken the past three years.

I won't promise to update soon. :) I will try to update more often! Please continue to send good energy and prayers my way, and I'll do the same for you.

Now, go out and enjoy your lives!

Tentative optimism!

First - let me apologize for not posting sooner. I have been busy with work, the holidays, and all of that wonderful daily minutia that we generally take for granted. I take it for granted too, but definitely less than I used to.

I have had a total of six treatments of Avastin, as a single agent treatment, for my recurrent ovarian cancer. I had a CT scan on Thursday, and a doctors appointment on Friday. Unfortunately for my doctor, and for me - she was sick and not in the office. I got to see her PA, who I really like though, so I still got my results.

The scan results were a little confusing to us. In some sections, it said "no change from last scan" but in others it said "no abnormal mass". The PA said this means that the cancerous nodules viewed on the last scan are either gone, or so small as to not be visible on the scan. Gone? Really?? I only have one calcified lymph node that is unchanged from the last scan. So, it sounds like wonderful news and I am now on "break" from treatment for two months! Wow! In two months I'll have another scan and appointment.

My favorite husband and I still want to talk to the doctor to clarify this report. It is the "no change from last scan" part that has my husband and I confused, and not quite ready to fully embrace that these nodules are really gone. Don't get me wrong - we are thrilled and very happy that I get a break so that my body can recuperate! We just want to clarify that the absence of information, means that there is no information available (no tumors or growths).

However, even if the scan showed no difference from last time, meaning nodules remain - that is still good news! No growth is always good news! But I hope you can understand our confusion :)

I plan to call my doctor next week (giving her a few days to catch up with her other patients) to make sure that the news is as good as it sounds. I will repost then to let you know too!

What a wonderful drug Avastin is! Its been the only thing in 2 1/2 years that has stopped my cancer from growing and even better - caused it to shrink or disappear! I also think that it is especially effective because of the vaccine I received. Both my husband and I think they are acting in conjunction with eachother - the vaccine preventing new growth, and the Avastin killing the active nodules.

So that is my update! I hope that you are all doing well and enjoying each day! I can promise that I will be enjoying all of mine! :)

thanksgiving

I was not expecting the news I got today. Not at all. I hadn't prepared myself for it, and was not ready for it. I've had nearly 2 1/2 years of not such great news in regards to scans. I was prepared for more not such great news (well - as prepared as one can be for that!)

I've had three treatments of Avastin (four now - counting the treatment I got yesterday). The scan results showed TUMOR SHRINKAGE! There was no new growth, and the tumors that are there showed shrinkage, some nearly 1/2 in size from the last scan! My CA125 has dropped to 16 as well, which is the lowest it has ever been. I'm always happy to hear "no new growth", but with tumors shrinking too? That is too often unheard of in ovarian cancer patients!

As you can tell, I am a little at a loss to process this information. Don't get me wrong - I am absolutely thrilled with the news! Once again, I am so thankful that I was led to my current Doctor and treatment team. I do feel cared for there, and cannot sing high enough praises for the people at Cancer Treatment Centers of America.

I can just relax now in regards to my current treatment. I know it is helping. It may not be an absolute cure, but it gives me time.

The only side effects have been headaches (dull, pounding headaches - not too strong), and an increase in blood pressure. My blood pressure is not high enough to cause concern, but if it gets higher, I will have to take blood pressure medication. That is simply a side effect of the Avastin, and not something permanent. I also have more headaches (probably due to the blood pressure). But overall I feel great, and have no debilitating side effects.

I guess I'm still a little stunned by the news :) I'm sorry for the hastily thrown together post, that I hope makes a little sense!

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the States!

Avastin

Sorry to have been gone so long.

Last month, my CA125 jumped from 19 to 24. That spurred me to request a CT scan, and my doc was definitely on board with that. We waited a month, and I had the scan this past Friday, and a doctors appointment yesterday.

The scan showed both good news and bad news. The good news is - still no NEW cancer growth! Wow! That is pretty amazing, and I believe it must be the vaccine that is preventing any new cancer implants.

The bad news is - the stuff that is there (nodules throughout my abdomen) has grown. Mostly, they have only grown only about 1/2 cm each in the three months since my last scan. My CA125 is up to 26 now as well. Although upsetting, this news was not wholly unexpected (since my CA125 had been creeping up).

So, we discussed options. The doc mentioned several different strategies. We can wait a few more months before doing anything - we can try hormonal therapy (I have to ask her more about this in the future) - I can have another surgery, and then have heated chemotherapy applied directly in my abdomen - or we can try Avastin. She really thought that the Avastin was the best option for me with "the minimal amount of cancer" that I currently have.

Avastin is a biological therapy (not really a chemo) that targets a protein found in many cancer cell teypes, and halts cancer growth. I think that it keeps the body from providing blood supply to cancer. (I will be researching this more). Usually, it is given in conjunction with chemotherapy drugs, but the doctor said that they have been using it as a single agent drug (meaning that Avastin is all I will be getting). I am happy about that, since I really have no faith in chemotherapy (I've been through three types so far, and none have worked in the least).

So I started treatment yesterday - nothing like jumping in feet first! :) I feel fine, and it is not supposed to really have many side effects. Of course, the side effects that it may have are bad. They are rare - but bad. For example - the worst would be bowel perforation. I may have high blood pressure, and have to take medication for it as a result of this medication. Also, it can cause some kidney problems. I have the treatment every three weeks - we will go three rounds, and then another scan to see if it is effective.

The big hope is that the Avastin takes care of the one lymph node that is located outside of my abdominal cavity (just outside of it). Then I would have surgery again to remove everything - and the heated chemotherapy directly into the abdomen. The heated chemo can only be used if cancer is confined to the abdominal cavity (for obvious reasons).

I will update again soon, I promise. Especially now that I am in full treatment again...

Bad blogger!!

Yes, I am a bad blogger. ;) Summer has been busy, and I really haven't had much to say.

I did let my two year "hysterversary" and cancerversary go by, without much thought. I didn't even remember it until the next day! It wouldn't have been something to celebrate, but I wouldn't really want to mourn it either. At this point, it really is just another day (and every day on this earth is a good one!!).

My last appointment went well - except that my CA125 went up one point - from 18 to 19. A one point change is not a huge deal (and my doc doesn't think so either). I know she is right, but I am a bit obsessed with that stupid number. We'll see what happens next month.

I hope you all are doing well, and I'm sure I will update again after my mid-August appointment. I know - I'm a BAD BLOGGER!!! :)